Well my friends, another era has come and gone. The era of the Best Mo (I have) Ever Grown.
I’m quite proud of the ol’ boy. He’s grown in pretty well. The shaving wound I inflicted upon him didn’t really seem to do too much damage, and is nearly invisible, now. No one’s ever commented on it, anyway, (though perhaps only out of politeness) so it can’t be too bad. Well, you all saw the photo. Looked ok.
Now I’m faced with a tough decision: to shave, or to soldier on? Clearly if I looked like a pervert or something I would want to shave it off immediately tonight, but things are not so straightforward for me: I look fucking awesome. What now!? It seems a crime to ruin such a glorious thing. This moustache is basically proof of a Benevolent God that loves all men (though clearly did not create them equally!) Who am I to deprive humanity of this miraculous embodiment of our lord?
Anyway, I’m just joshin’ … the decision has already been made…
I ain’t shaving it.
Nay, dear reader. Nay. This puppy is staying. Not only that, but we’re gonna welcome another member to the fold… As he’s about to be joined by a little brother, who I like to refer to affectionately as little Beard Junior.
That’s right. You heard me. This Decembeard Beard (Junior) joins Moustache (Senior) in an epic growth challenge not unlike the battle between Gandalf and the Balrog: Like Gandalf the Grey, I will die and like the Pheonix be reborn, sent back from death by the Father of All, mightier, and more whitier! I shall be known henceforth as Mitch the White, and my beard and moustache (senior) will defend the essence of manliness against a society of idiots, the way Gandalf the White defended the walls of Minas Tirith from the Witch-King.
So fear not, dear reader. For (much to the dismay of my fair lady) my facial hair updates shall continue unabated.
And God said let there be Decembeard, and there was Decembeard. And it was good.