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It's hard to say what's worse: being stung on the big toe by a bumble-bee, or being shot in the stomach at point blank range by a .50 calibre hand-gun.
I have reason to believe it's the former.

I had the misfortune of being the subject of a bee's wrath this weekend, while playing some sort of beach activity (perhaps Frisbee) at Jericho. I frolicked barefoot through the grass, carefree and happy. Suddenly, a sensation in my toe that my brain immediately associated with the sensation of being bitten by a giant ant - a kind of violent pinching feeling. My next thought was of course "what kind of unholy goddamn ant is this!?" then the pain expanded, numbing my entire leg, and I feared I might have severed my spinal cord. When I finally looked down (after approx. 0.0001 seconds) I saw the poor little agent of Satan stumbling through the grass, hurriedly trying to escape. I felt a brief moment of sadness: I had heard that bees die when they sting! Was this this little angry hellspawn's fate, his punishment for being stepped on by a sky-scraper tall being with toes like GMC Duravans?

I considered this... Only if his stinger was pulled out, I decided. If, on the other hand, the stinger barbs didn't catch, he might just make it ... Of course I could barely think of this because I was running back to the picnic like a panicked 4 year old (perhaps like a little time-travelling version of myself, when I was stung by a hornet while picking berries. I remember screaming bloody murder, and pedalling my little bmx bike as fast as my adrenaline super-powered legs could go. Any faster and the centrifugal force would no doubt tear the tires right off my rims and pull my shoes right off my feet!)

I iced that puppy for a good while, which helped. I looked for the stinger, but couldn't find it. Maybe my little nightmarish demon from Hades bee had lived to attack an innocent skyscraper another day. Me, on the other hand... I might not.

The rest of my day went pretty much fine. But today, two days later... my freakin' toe is still killing me, and feels swollen and numb whenever I walk on it. Unbelievable.

Bees. Kamikaze pilots of the animal kingdom.

"If we have done everything except our life purpose, we have done nothing."

Speaking of life purpose, the purpose of my life right now might be to get a phone that doesn't suck. To demonstrate what I think of my phone, and the company that makes it, I have authored a simple diagram that I think you may find enlightening:

My phone is such garbage it's literally crazy. Like, I would honestly have to have a discussion with the engineers who made this, and I'd have a look of not understanding on my face the entire time. Never, ever buy a Sony-Ericsson phone. The other models are no better, for the most part. Everyone (except perhaps Sparky) that I know that owns one got rid of it and never looked back. I shall join that hallowed group soon enough.

Back to speaking of angry bees, check this hilarious link out. (Warning, foul language alert, but otherwise SFW.) The 5 Most Horrifying Bugs in the World.

That's funny. I'm glad I didn't get stung by some of those. G-damn does my toe hurt, though. It's actually a bit swollen and reddish. Looks like a little radish or something.

Mitch "radish toe" LeBlanc, out.

kareem, 2009-06-21, 04:29:01 Stinging sucks ... a hornet got me twice in the inside of my cheek. I was eating samosas and drinking coke, and the sucker flew in ... ow. Now get an iPhone already!

Tim, 2009-06-22, 15:08:00 Ahahahahaah ... I love the photo of the dog pooping out the phone.

I swear that how they are made. - Mitch, 2009-06-22, 22:49:20 Haha, you got stung in your mouth. That is a story for the grandkids for sure. I am nearly to iPhone levels of frustration with my phone now...