Blog Archive | Quotes Frantic | C'est What? | The Sodchucker Climbing | Hong Kong | Sydney | Canada Animations | Videos | Photoshops    Subscribe to Mitch's Website RSS

[ Back to archive ]

Day 1...

I got to the airport in plenty of time... Colin drove, which was only mildly stressful. Checking in was completely uneventful. I bought Subway from yet another completely unhappy airport employee, who only was friendly after he asked me for ID, then thought he recognized me. Would I be his friend had he been rude and unhelpful not once, but twice? Lunch was disgusting... It is obviously the cheese that makes the Roast Chicken a success...

In the waiting room, things were fine until young people started sharing stories of airport security woes. They were rude, or obnoxious, which was a refreshing change from most young people, but I had to leave because their discussion was so tedious and plain and completely boring that it pained me. Five minutes does not constitute a noteworthy delay at any security checkpoint. FYI.

After changing seats I settled into my new David Sedaris book. Some lines had me laughing out loud, and time flew by. I noticed nearly everyone was gone. I noticed a confused Chinese lady. I wondered if perhaps I was feeling just too damned laid back about it all, so I followed her down the hall and realized that I wasn't at the right gate either, and that my plane was already boarding. Not bad though, I arrived the instant they called my rows so I got on even faster. (In my defense, this section of the airport was a shit show and the gates weren't numbered properly. It normally goes 50, 51, 52. Not 50, 52, 51.)

My first experience on the plane was walking past those wonderful pods in first class. Oh. How I long to lay flat, and be served cookies.

My second experience was a 25 foot tall Australian woman with straw died blonde for hair and lipstick of a prostitute. She was cursing someone's luggage in the overhead bins. I waited for her, and she mumbled something at me. I waited more, then she said angrily (and rudely) "Go, please!" without meaning her "please". I calmly and very slowly walked by, in that rare state of mind that comes only from total superiority and contempt. Plus I was on vacation.

My flight was fine. I watched "The Happening", "Kung Fu Panda" and "The Fugitive". Then I slept nearly the rest of the way. Not bad for a 15 hour flight. As usual, the plane food was perfect. I love plane food. I am not kidding.

The person next to me was ok. She kept talking to me as we started to land, despite the fact that I was wearing earplugs. Oh well. Maybe she was lonely.

After we landed, the stewardesses opened all the overhead bins, and then walked back and forth spraying the luggage with little aerosol cans. The pilot said something about bugs? Quarantine? I don't know, but I won't go into the details of why this is one of the dumbest ideas I have ever heard of. But I did get photos. They didn't spray our bages stored under the seats. They didn't spray us... Are all government airline authorities operated by retarded weiner dogs?

My ass hurts. As I write this (the original record, in my "travel diary") I'm sitting on the steps of town hall, waiting for Brendon. I'm also cold. It's surprisingly cold in Sydney. His ETA is exactly 10 seconds according to my watch. Speaking of watches, the time difference between Sydney and Vancouver is 18 hours, I think. GMT +10 to GMT -8. Current time in Vancouver, as I write this, is midnight, on the "morning" of Wednesday the 1st...

Every time I wait for Brendon (twice so far) I am surrounded by complete degenerates. Right now a guy missing most of his front teet is talking (rambling, really) to his gross dirtbag (he is more dirty) friends. Ah I hate cities.

When I got off the plane, I met Brendon in a place called "St. Leonards", which is in North Sydney....

Nevermind. Brendon is here, thank God.

Mitch out.

ps: Apologies for taking so long to get the first post up. I had a pain in the ass time getting photos online. But I think it should work now!
My first set of Sydney Vacation photos: http://www.mitchleblanc.com/gal-frame.php?cat=sydney&set=014

Robyn, 2008-10-06, 09:04:57 They sprayed the overhead bins (but not the luggage under seats) when I went to the Galapagos Islands also. Hey, can you give Stu a swift kick in the ass for me when you see him?

Hey Robyn - Stu, 2008-10-06, 14:37:33 No ass kick for me. And you still suck.